It's been a long time since we last wrote. I've been thinking about writing for a long time, but life seems so very ordinary in comparison to the events that caused us to create this blog.
I've decided to update, however, and am following mikey's advice that it doesn't have to be some huge, life-changing, heart-wrenching, drama-filled entry. We just want you to know what we're doing!
We bought our first house in November and have enjoyed every day of living in it since then (even with light fixtures falling off of walls). Owning a house has awakened my dormant sense of home-making and it's been nice to explore and enjoy that while making the spaces in our house cozy and beautiful. It also has stirred the monster of materialism and we've found it a battle to take a step back and be objective and still generous with our money. In some ways, it's a far cry from what we returned from Africa with--a love for the simple and uncluttered--but we are in the process (probably a never-ending process) of figuring out the balance with our money.
We have really enjoyed entertaining people again. In the midst of all our recent life changes--moving twice, going out of the country, changing jobs etc.--we had taken a break from our usually full lives of hosting and community building. Now that we are more permanently here and have more space, we've returned to that love with gusto. We had 42 people at our New Year's party! A new record for us Fissels. After being so uncertain about whether or not to buy this house, we have been really encouraged by sharing this blessing and abundance with others. We love having a guest room (with a bed!) to offer to travelers, visiting friends and family, or just the weary person who needs a nap.
This is one of the ways that we see our Africa-experience extending into our continuing lives. In Africa, we fully came to terms with the fact that we are in love with, and incredibly gifted as a couple in, building and encouraging community. We are so thankful for a big home space to practice in! We feel most alive, most in-tune with our purpose when we have people eating in our kitchen, taking a nap in our guest bedroom, watching TV on our couch, sitting in a circle drinking coffee and sharing lives. One of the signatures that has developed out of our marriage that I love most is the fact that when our door is unlocked, people don't even knock--they know they are going to only hear the call "come in!" and no one is going to get the door for them anyway. I love this because it says to me, "I know I am welcome."
Mikey took a full time job with the city and I am teaching for my fifth year. In all our planning and dreaming, the routine stability of our current lives wasn't at the top of the list, but we feel like this is the "next thing."
We really want to continue to update this blog as our life continues to progress, so please keep checking back. We will post pictures of our house soon, but mostly, we hope you'll just come by to see it for yourself and stay a while!
Thank you for your continued love and interest in our lives.
Love,
Laura and Mikey
Friday, January 8, 2010
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Who Thought It Would Look Like This...?
Not to sound corny or simple, but sometimes you just never know what God is doing until He does it...
I say this because Laura and I have been home from our adventure to find ourselves in a place that looks very little like we thought it would. What we have found, instead, is God fulfilling dreams He gave us nearly 4 years ago that we thought were only a vision to change our path at the time.
What i mean is this; 4 years ago, i was working a Staples job that was promising to get me none of the things that i have ever wanted in life. Because of this, we stepped out in faith and i went back to school to get an IT degree so i could get that nice job that would let us buy a house, and we could eventually work on having a family of our own. A satisfying dream at the time until God derailed it, pleasantly, and lead us both to focusing on our community and revealed to us our true heart's passion -- people.
When He did this, we assumed God only pointed us in the job/house/family direction to give us the strength and vision to get us out of post-college stagnation. Since then He has done amazing things in our hearts, in our church, in our family, and in our communities. We have built some of the best and most lasting relationships we have ever been a part of. We have been involved in the lives of a number of wonderful college students, and we even went halfway across the world to see what God had for us in South Africa. What we find now, as we try to continue to follow God's direction, is that God wasn't using smoke and mirrors to "trick us" along the right path, but He is just delivering His promises on a different time table.
As of my birthday, Oct 13th, we find ourselves in an odd position. I have accepted a new full time position within in the city that promises a nice pay raise, and the ability to provide (financially) more fully for my family. We are planning on closing on our first house on Nov 13th as well, which is incredibly exciting. We definitely did not think that we would be putting ourselves in a situation to be stationary, but it has all worked out so well.
We continue to wrestle with what our lives will look like with these new happenings. But continue to pray that we can invite people in to our new place and that it will feel like a home for them as well. Thanks to all of you who are praying for us as we try to continue to live lives that reflect the beauty, love, and creativity of our Creator...
Mikey
I say this because Laura and I have been home from our adventure to find ourselves in a place that looks very little like we thought it would. What we have found, instead, is God fulfilling dreams He gave us nearly 4 years ago that we thought were only a vision to change our path at the time.
What i mean is this; 4 years ago, i was working a Staples job that was promising to get me none of the things that i have ever wanted in life. Because of this, we stepped out in faith and i went back to school to get an IT degree so i could get that nice job that would let us buy a house, and we could eventually work on having a family of our own. A satisfying dream at the time until God derailed it, pleasantly, and lead us both to focusing on our community and revealed to us our true heart's passion -- people.
When He did this, we assumed God only pointed us in the job/house/family direction to give us the strength and vision to get us out of post-college stagnation. Since then He has done amazing things in our hearts, in our church, in our family, and in our communities. We have built some of the best and most lasting relationships we have ever been a part of. We have been involved in the lives of a number of wonderful college students, and we even went halfway across the world to see what God had for us in South Africa. What we find now, as we try to continue to follow God's direction, is that God wasn't using smoke and mirrors to "trick us" along the right path, but He is just delivering His promises on a different time table.
As of my birthday, Oct 13th, we find ourselves in an odd position. I have accepted a new full time position within in the city that promises a nice pay raise, and the ability to provide (financially) more fully for my family. We are planning on closing on our first house on Nov 13th as well, which is incredibly exciting. We definitely did not think that we would be putting ourselves in a situation to be stationary, but it has all worked out so well.
We continue to wrestle with what our lives will look like with these new happenings. But continue to pray that we can invite people in to our new place and that it will feel like a home for them as well. Thanks to all of you who are praying for us as we try to continue to live lives that reflect the beauty, love, and creativity of our Creator...
Mikey
Monday, September 28, 2009
Countdown...
I sit in my classroom and slowly run my eyes over the pictures, posters, books, desks, bulletin boards, cabinets, white boards. I am anticipating the arrival of my students and notice the clock counting down--T-minus 20 minutes. I'm in a reflective mood--especially today. Today, Mikey interviews for a full-time job with the city. Today, we will probably hear from our realtor, updating us on the status of our offer on that house (or at least, we hope!). Today is Monday and the beginning of a new week; coincidentally the last week of September. Today, I struggle to put away my doubts and fears, stop my leg's nervous bouncing up-and-down, and dwell in these moments. 15 minutes left.
For the past two years, we have been avoiding a full-time job for Mikey. Funny how that works, seeing as how we would like to start having kids and I would very much like to stay at home with said kids if that were to happen. But we haven't felt right about it. There's always been something better on the horizon--something that called for more simple but fulfilling living. The last "clear message from God" we had in the career area was for Mikey to stay part-time and spend his off-time hanging out with college kids. Now, since God sent us to Africa...and then sent us back to America...the college kid thing isn't in the picture and we are left pondering if there is any reason that Mikey is still part-time. I feel like I'm still hanging on to that last message for dear life. "This is what God said to us! I know what we're supposed to be doing!" But we aren't finding that that is relevant anymore and now these options are available that we were avoiding before. I am circulating through my mind that last Africa-thought before we got on a plane to return: live in the NEXT thing...God will open and shut doors as he pleases....you don't have to know what's next....10 minutes.
Okay: here's what's next that you can pray for...
*We put an offer on a house...our first-ever offer! We are really excited about this house and are already dreaming about where to put things and how it will effect our hosting-life-style. I am seeking to enjoy those dreams with open hands, so that if God has something better for us, he won't have to wrench it away from me
*Mikey has a job interview with the city today; pray for peace over Mikey during the interview, and peace for us afterwards whether he gets it or not.
*We are full into the swing of life here, which for us often means spending the majority of our off-work time with other people; please pray that we would not stop pursuing one another and become simply co-habitators. I am feeling disconnected from Mikey at times and want us to connect over more than just logistics.
*I am doing a (required, I'm sorry to say) devotional in front of our high school body on Wednesday and I am getting nauseas anytime I think about it; I'll be sharing a bit about Africa and want it to be relevant, understood, and communicated clearly. Gosh, I am so nervous!
I guess I'm more inclined to write when I'm struggling, eh? I will try to write on more joyous occasions! Thanks for listening to the good, the bad and the ugly.
Love,
Laura
Monday, September 21, 2009
Don't Forget... Episode 4
"Don't Forget..."
Laura,
As I see the fire being sucked out from within you, let me agree with Charles Spurgeon in saying "Instead of trying to revive yourself, offer prayers. Do not say, 'I will revive myself,' but cry, 'O Lord, revive thy work.' To say, 'I will revive myself,' reveals that you do not know your true state. If you knew your own true state, you would just as soon expect a wounded soldier on the battlefield to heal himself without medicine, or get himself to hospital when his arms or legs have been shot off as you would expect to revive yourself without the help of God."
It goes without saying that the change that occurred in you while abroad was from God--therefore, let Him be in control of that change even now. You didn't do it to yourself, so you aren't going to be able to maintain it. You had joy in serving the Lord in Africa because of the sense of SURRENDER you experienced. You came face-to-face with the giant AIDS and his cousin crisis, ORPHAN and standing before them, staring up into their daunting gaze, you were aware of your own utter insignificance. What freedom! Unable to live in the arrogant fabrication that you have an inherent power, that you have some control, you became a child again. Your work became enjoyable service for a kind master, rather than the furious busy-ness demanded by the tyrant SELF. Instead of going nowhere but deeper into the mire of your own inadequacies, you began to soar, to actually get somewhere, to make a real difference.
The dwindling of your passion, this gradual weighing down you are experiencing, is the result of self-made burdens. Let me help you lighten this heaviness by telling you the truth. Darkness flees before Light. Here is the Light: you are trying to live constantly in a state of joy and happiness by giving yourself daily "pep talks." You call these pep talks "devotions" but they aren't really about God at all. They are about you--about attaining a certain emotional state, not becoming closer to Him. Do you understand that you cannot make Him love you more through reading the Bible and praying? Do you understand that you cannot distance yourself from His love if you neglect these disciplines? You are trying to act like an adult, when all you achieve is "frightened orphan." Be a child again who realizes her place of belonging.
You feel the present like a punishment; you think that life is living in Africa. When you ask "revive thy work," you are really demanding "make me feel as I did then" and instead of waiting for an answer, but dive into your next plan to achieve that goal. Africa was a beautiful past, a vibrant, perfectly created stepping stone. Just as Africa was a God-plan formed just for you, this job, this NOW, is a God-plan...formed just for you.
Ask Him, truly ask Him, to revive His work in you. Ask Him with palms out and open and empty, the back-up plan in your pocket shredded before-hand. In fact, turn all your pockets out, too. No crossed fingers. No, come empty so that you can be filled. Don't lose hope, Dear One. REVIVE means that the work is already there. HIS means that it's not yours to worry about. IN YOU is an invitation to be a part of something grand.
The same God in Africa is the same God now...and yesterday and tomorrow and forever.
Love,
Me (Laura)
P.s. This is NOT a pep talk!
Laura,
As I see the fire being sucked out from within you, let me agree with Charles Spurgeon in saying "Instead of trying to revive yourself, offer prayers. Do not say, 'I will revive myself,' but cry, 'O Lord, revive thy work.' To say, 'I will revive myself,' reveals that you do not know your true state. If you knew your own true state, you would just as soon expect a wounded soldier on the battlefield to heal himself without medicine, or get himself to hospital when his arms or legs have been shot off as you would expect to revive yourself without the help of God."
It goes without saying that the change that occurred in you while abroad was from God--therefore, let Him be in control of that change even now. You didn't do it to yourself, so you aren't going to be able to maintain it. You had joy in serving the Lord in Africa because of the sense of SURRENDER you experienced. You came face-to-face with the giant AIDS and his cousin crisis, ORPHAN and standing before them, staring up into their daunting gaze, you were aware of your own utter insignificance. What freedom! Unable to live in the arrogant fabrication that you have an inherent power, that you have some control, you became a child again. Your work became enjoyable service for a kind master, rather than the furious busy-ness demanded by the tyrant SELF. Instead of going nowhere but deeper into the mire of your own inadequacies, you began to soar, to actually get somewhere, to make a real difference.
The dwindling of your passion, this gradual weighing down you are experiencing, is the result of self-made burdens. Let me help you lighten this heaviness by telling you the truth. Darkness flees before Light. Here is the Light: you are trying to live constantly in a state of joy and happiness by giving yourself daily "pep talks." You call these pep talks "devotions" but they aren't really about God at all. They are about you--about attaining a certain emotional state, not becoming closer to Him. Do you understand that you cannot make Him love you more through reading the Bible and praying? Do you understand that you cannot distance yourself from His love if you neglect these disciplines? You are trying to act like an adult, when all you achieve is "frightened orphan." Be a child again who realizes her place of belonging.
You feel the present like a punishment; you think that life is living in Africa. When you ask "revive thy work," you are really demanding "make me feel as I did then" and instead of waiting for an answer, but dive into your next plan to achieve that goal. Africa was a beautiful past, a vibrant, perfectly created stepping stone. Just as Africa was a God-plan formed just for you, this job, this NOW, is a God-plan...formed just for you.
Ask Him, truly ask Him, to revive His work in you. Ask Him with palms out and open and empty, the back-up plan in your pocket shredded before-hand. In fact, turn all your pockets out, too. No crossed fingers. No, come empty so that you can be filled. Don't lose hope, Dear One. REVIVE means that the work is already there. HIS means that it's not yours to worry about. IN YOU is an invitation to be a part of something grand.
The same God in Africa is the same God now...and yesterday and tomorrow and forever.
Love,
Me (Laura)
P.s. This is NOT a pep talk!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
To our many readers:
I didn't realize how many of you there were! This last week, especially, I got to talk to many of you face to face and it revealed that truth to me. I am just now registering--after those conversations--that this realization was a gift to me...a reminder that we're not in this life alone and that people care about our journey. I guess I was looking at this blog as more of a formality--putting our experiences out there just to say we did but more for our own processing-purposes--but now that I know how many of you are truly investing in and listening to us here, I feel so different about writing posts. I have a heightened sense of responsibility to you all--to be honest, to not hold back, to show you how grateful we are.
It's really a curious thing, the feeling you get from sharing your life with someone else. There have been many times over the past month of adjusting that I have felt very alone, as if I were the only one going through such uncertainty and having such a hard time with trust. But last week, you had the opportunity to share with me similar feelings and reveal that you are going through transitions just as difficult. It encourages me that our being open about our lives gives "permission"--if you will--for you to be open with us in the realization that we all share this common experience of being human.
I know that I've said this to you already, when I found out that you are following our blog, but I have to reiterate it here to let you know that when I say "THANK YOU for reading our blog" I truly mean it. You have helped me to remember that I'm not alone.
So, in the spirit of this post, and knowing that we are tied to one another through the sharing of our lives, here are some ways that you can be praying for us right now!
Please pray for true wisdom, clarity and trust in these HUGE areas:
*We are searching for a house, starting "officially" tomorrow
*We are in need of a vehicle for Mikey
*We (maybe Laura more than anything) are uncertain about Mikey's career/job
and that in the midst of making these life decisions, Mikey and I will be able to pursue, invest in and communicate with one another
I will try to update again as life continues to unfold!
Thank you, thank you, thank you...
Love,
Laura
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Don't Forget... Episode 3
"Don't Forget..."
Laura,
the number one greatest phenomena that occurred in Africa: you forgot about yourself.
I sense that the memory of this is quickly passing from your mind of late. Who knew it would be so easy to let go of upon return to the States? Well, you're learning now. Let's bring it home to roost (as they say) once more. You were so afraid that you would be the same old self-aware YOU when you went to SA, weren't you? Your goal was to re-orient on the whole "IMAGE" issue...hopefully by the end of the summer, however pessimistic you were that it would happen. Understandable--being skeptical that something that had such a hold on you would be altered by even a life-changing experience like this trip.
And what did you discover? It wasn't a dream--say it out loud: YOU CHANGED. Within the first week, your attention to self dissipated and, vision unveiled, you SAW OTHERS. Time spent face-to-face with flesh and blood and the open, beating life of people replaced time spent before your reflection in disapproval. You not only spent less time in conscious thought about your body, you almost stopped thinking about it all together.
I think it's appropriate to assume that the lack of commercials and magazines--advertisements for idolatry of self more than the product being sold--were a part of this effect. You know that's not all, though. The fact is that when you held the concepts of weight and wardrobe into the light of the TRUTH about life's design, they shriveled so fast that they fell out of your hand, not waiting anymore for you to willingly let go.
It was not hard to see to Life's core in a place where people weren't certain where their next meal was coming from, only owned one pair of shoes, were involuntarily uneducated and probably unemployed; women barely in their 20's raising two kids alone; 15 year-olds becoming the head of their household in the blink of an eye; minimum wage barely cresting $250 a month and causing fathers to spend whole weeks away from the family they are trying to support. What perspective this affords! LAURA: In no way can life be about the clothes you wear, the furniture you own, the car you drive, the size house you have, the size pants you wear--for crying out loud, it can't be about that because most people in most countries in the world can't even afford to THINK about those things, much less let them direct and control their life path.
You know what is left, when all those lies are exposed: human life. The very image of God on earth, and you have a lifetime here to nurture it, share it, encourage it and in turn be shaped and encouraged by it. Each obsessive thought about image and reputation is a waste of the precious gift of time. Oh, you were so drawn into that vibrant way of living--existence orbiting around relationship (ah, I see your face is changing...you understand...it was so contagious and so desirable, it wasn't hard to leave the old habits behind). Well, good news: there's human life here in Greensboro, too....and anywhere else you could ever go, for that matter. You don't have to leave that perspective behind. After all, Truth is Truth no matter where you go or what choices you make.
I know it is hard not to return to seeing life through this convenient lens, but raise your eyes, Laura, look above! Let the Light of Heaven illuminate what comes before you and when that happens, and Truth stands out bold and smiling while Falsity shrinks back into shadow, choose to stand fast next to it, choose to live life each day standing FAST next to it.
"I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR, most Gracious Lord.
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR, in joy or pain.
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.
I NEED THEE, O, I NEED THEE;
EVERY HOUR, I NEED THEE.
O, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to thee!"
Illumined,
Me (Laura)
Laura,
the number one greatest phenomena that occurred in Africa: you forgot about yourself.
I sense that the memory of this is quickly passing from your mind of late. Who knew it would be so easy to let go of upon return to the States? Well, you're learning now. Let's bring it home to roost (as they say) once more. You were so afraid that you would be the same old self-aware YOU when you went to SA, weren't you? Your goal was to re-orient on the whole "IMAGE" issue...hopefully by the end of the summer, however pessimistic you were that it would happen. Understandable--being skeptical that something that had such a hold on you would be altered by even a life-changing experience like this trip.
And what did you discover? It wasn't a dream--say it out loud: YOU CHANGED. Within the first week, your attention to self dissipated and, vision unveiled, you SAW OTHERS. Time spent face-to-face with flesh and blood and the open, beating life of people replaced time spent before your reflection in disapproval. You not only spent less time in conscious thought about your body, you almost stopped thinking about it all together.
I think it's appropriate to assume that the lack of commercials and magazines--advertisements for idolatry of self more than the product being sold--were a part of this effect. You know that's not all, though. The fact is that when you held the concepts of weight and wardrobe into the light of the TRUTH about life's design, they shriveled so fast that they fell out of your hand, not waiting anymore for you to willingly let go.
It was not hard to see to Life's core in a place where people weren't certain where their next meal was coming from, only owned one pair of shoes, were involuntarily uneducated and probably unemployed; women barely in their 20's raising two kids alone; 15 year-olds becoming the head of their household in the blink of an eye; minimum wage barely cresting $250 a month and causing fathers to spend whole weeks away from the family they are trying to support. What perspective this affords! LAURA: In no way can life be about the clothes you wear, the furniture you own, the car you drive, the size house you have, the size pants you wear--for crying out loud, it can't be about that because most people in most countries in the world can't even afford to THINK about those things, much less let them direct and control their life path.
You know what is left, when all those lies are exposed: human life. The very image of God on earth, and you have a lifetime here to nurture it, share it, encourage it and in turn be shaped and encouraged by it. Each obsessive thought about image and reputation is a waste of the precious gift of time. Oh, you were so drawn into that vibrant way of living--existence orbiting around relationship (ah, I see your face is changing...you understand...it was so contagious and so desirable, it wasn't hard to leave the old habits behind). Well, good news: there's human life here in Greensboro, too....and anywhere else you could ever go, for that matter. You don't have to leave that perspective behind. After all, Truth is Truth no matter where you go or what choices you make.
I know it is hard not to return to seeing life through this convenient lens, but raise your eyes, Laura, look above! Let the Light of Heaven illuminate what comes before you and when that happens, and Truth stands out bold and smiling while Falsity shrinks back into shadow, choose to stand fast next to it, choose to live life each day standing FAST next to it.
"I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR, most Gracious Lord.
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR, in joy or pain.
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.
I NEED THEE, O, I NEED THEE;
EVERY HOUR, I NEED THEE.
O, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to thee!"
Illumined,
Me (Laura)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Don't Forget... Episode 2
"DON'T FORGET..."
Laura,
who knows why you never caught on before Africa, but do you remember while you were there and your head began to clear and you were able to see clearly (like when you wipe the steam off the bathroom mirror after a hot bath) your gifts, your strengths? remember how good it felt to see that in humility and honesty--without boastfulness or shyness because you were just staring at the TRUTH? they were plain as day before you and all it took was a little QUIET in your mind to be able to see them, standing there as real as always but now in true form in the absence of your inflating pride or deflating self-degradation.
you realized you are kind and you enjoy lavishing others with that kindness. you felt the wideness of a smile in your chest when you saw the expressions on their faces, but you learned also to relish the secret expression of enjoyment when you gave anonymously. this quality goes nicely with your generosity, which (though at times curtailed by an innate selfishness inherited from dear great great great great--etc.--grandpa Adam) you love to give free reign when resources allow.
you prioritize people and have a chord of unity running through you that tugs and tugs on your (rather introverted) heart until you find yourself bound up in community wherever you go. you love to see people engaging, talking, sharing life. your congenital creativity helps marvelously to compose space that facilitates fellowship. your ears are tuned to listen and although you feel content to watch a room full of people knowing and loving one another, you are truly fulfilled when you are given the opportunity to intentionally know an individual. your "perfect date" is a good cup of coffee and a good conversation and you thrive on deliberate friendship. you understand now, don't you, why you feel dried out (a bit like a raisin) when you are unable to get past small talk and social games? honesty and invitation into a life is water to your soul--yes, it's only natural, seeing as how you were designed that way.
now don't misunderstand or misread; let me be absolutely clear: these qualities do not come naturally to all human beings. you have been gifted these characteristics and "humble" denial doesn't help a thing. just recognize them and embrace their place in your existence. your "modesty" has really been a lack of boldness that has kept these gifts from being used. Africa was a stepping stone, but it's now a wonderful past: move forward with what it helped to reveal to you. it's never too late, dust them off and start exercising those atrophied muscles. He has always been proud of the intentional way He pieced you together--bask it that and let it recharge you.
looking FORWARD with expectation,
Me (Laura)
Laura,
who knows why you never caught on before Africa, but do you remember while you were there and your head began to clear and you were able to see clearly (like when you wipe the steam off the bathroom mirror after a hot bath) your gifts, your strengths? remember how good it felt to see that in humility and honesty--without boastfulness or shyness because you were just staring at the TRUTH? they were plain as day before you and all it took was a little QUIET in your mind to be able to see them, standing there as real as always but now in true form in the absence of your inflating pride or deflating self-degradation.
you realized you are kind and you enjoy lavishing others with that kindness. you felt the wideness of a smile in your chest when you saw the expressions on their faces, but you learned also to relish the secret expression of enjoyment when you gave anonymously. this quality goes nicely with your generosity, which (though at times curtailed by an innate selfishness inherited from dear great great great great--etc.--grandpa Adam) you love to give free reign when resources allow.
you prioritize people and have a chord of unity running through you that tugs and tugs on your (rather introverted) heart until you find yourself bound up in community wherever you go. you love to see people engaging, talking, sharing life. your congenital creativity helps marvelously to compose space that facilitates fellowship. your ears are tuned to listen and although you feel content to watch a room full of people knowing and loving one another, you are truly fulfilled when you are given the opportunity to intentionally know an individual. your "perfect date" is a good cup of coffee and a good conversation and you thrive on deliberate friendship. you understand now, don't you, why you feel dried out (a bit like a raisin) when you are unable to get past small talk and social games? honesty and invitation into a life is water to your soul--yes, it's only natural, seeing as how you were designed that way.
now don't misunderstand or misread; let me be absolutely clear: these qualities do not come naturally to all human beings. you have been gifted these characteristics and "humble" denial doesn't help a thing. just recognize them and embrace their place in your existence. your "modesty" has really been a lack of boldness that has kept these gifts from being used. Africa was a stepping stone, but it's now a wonderful past: move forward with what it helped to reveal to you. it's never too late, dust them off and start exercising those atrophied muscles. He has always been proud of the intentional way He pieced you together--bask it that and let it recharge you.
looking FORWARD with expectation,
Me (Laura)
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